Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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