I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize