either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
