I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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