Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
