butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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