I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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