She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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