Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
