we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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