Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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