i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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