ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
