She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
