I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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