the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
