I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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