are you still at the devil's house?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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