And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
