You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
