I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
