just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize