K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
