I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
