I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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