So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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