he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
its liver damage thursday
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
