Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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