Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
