Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
