then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
