I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
