Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize