try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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