I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
