I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize