how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
