We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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