Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
