just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
