Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
