My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
