i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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