How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
