Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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