Got a toothbrush?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
