My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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