Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We need to get me chipped asap
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
