nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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