you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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