Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
