I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
