Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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