then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
