piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
