How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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