finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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