where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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