I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
