Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
