just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How's work?
Spinning.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
