i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
