She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
