i was born a porn star she said
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
tell me about the eggs
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
